I had the opportunity to discuss the value of ritual in out lives with Nate this morning.
When a lot of us think of ritual we consider it in a wholly religious sense relating to church ceremony, but it's not just that. It is something that can be a personal practice. Our lives are filled with habit but rarely ritualized practice.
A ritualized practice is something that we can do everyday to prepare ourselves for writing, playing music, or getting ready for work as examples. A ritual can bring us back to ourselves and remind ourselves of a relaxed time, a moment when we felt peace or joy.
For myself, a ritual that developed when I was on vacation this spring was getting up in a quiet house, making an espresso and heading outside to the deck with my notebook. Sitting in the sun and just enjoying the beverage and early morning light. Simply relaxing into that moment of time before starting my journal pages for the day. Another thing that got added onto that time was some walking meditation for about 10 minutes, just breathing and taking small deliberate steps in a pattern. Even though the location has changed, I am here and not on vacation, I can recapture that moment of quiet by simply going through the ritual of brewing an espresso and heading out the door to a lawn chair with my notebook in hand.
The problem with ritual is that even when we know that something has the ability to relax us, to allow us to experience a pleasure sensation, we tend to put it off in our daily lives because we don't have time. We revert back to the habit of looking after the daily grind, rather than taking 15 minutes for ourselves to be with ourselves.
It's good to be reminded that a daily practice, whatever it is that we choose to practice, is soothing for both the mind and spirit.
I'm going back outdoors, then back to the studio.
--
Currently listening to Chocolate Drops - Emanate 7
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Autophobia and Athazagoraphobia: fear and loathing in New Brunswick
Fear of self and fear of being forgotten... are perhaps more related than being just phobias.
Autophobia is often associated with self-loathing and low self-esteem. Self-loathing and low self-esteem are often masked with arrogance, which is strongly associated with overbearing and egotistical attitudes.
Athazagoraphobia is often felt by people with low self-esteem with symptoms of self-doubt, the feelings of being unlovable, unwanted, undesirable. In other words, they feel that they are unremarkable people in and of themselves, thus are easily dismissed, unless of course they do something spectacular with their lives to bring some form of notoriety, which can be interpreted as egoism and arrogance.
Fears, and I know I touched on fear recently, so bear with me here, can sneak up on us. They produce symptoms of depression and bring a sense of gloom and hopelessness. Sometimes it makes us near motionless, stopping us in our tracks, figuratively and even literally. It can make us turn around and run back to our safe place to hide out until the feeling passes.
Sometimes our fears are brought on by a decision that we have to make. Sometimes it is having to face another person. Sometimes it is a physical place. Sometimes it is our own self-talk, our own personal doubts about our worth as a person that creates the fear.
The fear is a dark place in our own mind and it isn't as real as we think it is. What is real is that most of us experience it at some time in our lives, and what is real is that by taking some kind of forward action, it can be overcome. Not all at once maybe, but step by little step.
I have been thinking about this for a couple of days now and I wonder how often my own issues with self-esteem are misinterpreted and how often my fear gets in the way of growing forward?
... and maybe that is why blogging gained so much popularity so quickly, the words and actions of our lives are digitally recorded for a potential eternity, never to be forgotten.
Someday I'll deal with my fear of regret.
--
Autophobia is often associated with self-loathing and low self-esteem. Self-loathing and low self-esteem are often masked with arrogance, which is strongly associated with overbearing and egotistical attitudes.
Athazagoraphobia is often felt by people with low self-esteem with symptoms of self-doubt, the feelings of being unlovable, unwanted, undesirable. In other words, they feel that they are unremarkable people in and of themselves, thus are easily dismissed, unless of course they do something spectacular with their lives to bring some form of notoriety, which can be interpreted as egoism and arrogance.
Fears, and I know I touched on fear recently, so bear with me here, can sneak up on us. They produce symptoms of depression and bring a sense of gloom and hopelessness. Sometimes it makes us near motionless, stopping us in our tracks, figuratively and even literally. It can make us turn around and run back to our safe place to hide out until the feeling passes.
Sometimes our fears are brought on by a decision that we have to make. Sometimes it is having to face another person. Sometimes it is a physical place. Sometimes it is our own self-talk, our own personal doubts about our worth as a person that creates the fear.
The fear is a dark place in our own mind and it isn't as real as we think it is. What is real is that most of us experience it at some time in our lives, and what is real is that by taking some kind of forward action, it can be overcome. Not all at once maybe, but step by little step.
I have been thinking about this for a couple of days now and I wonder how often my own issues with self-esteem are misinterpreted and how often my fear gets in the way of growing forward?
... and maybe that is why blogging gained so much popularity so quickly, the words and actions of our lives are digitally recorded for a potential eternity, never to be forgotten.
Someday I'll deal with my fear of regret.
--
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Stuff again
I'm glad that I had a class to teach tonight. The ladies that attended the earrings 1/2 combo class at the Beadnik in Fredericton were fantastic. It was good to get out and good to get out my own head for a few hours.
Concentrating on the teaching and on the students was good. I was able to forget about some of the disappointing things from this past week.
The show in Halifax was pleasant with lots of positive comments, but the overall results were not fabulous for me. The emails and postcards didn't seem too effective this time around though it did get some folks out that hadn't visited the summer show before.
A good friend that has been plagued with some health issues got another call from her Doc today with some not so good results... time will tell, but at least we made some fun about it, and this was after a bad fall yesterday after some other med tests. Keeping my fingers crossed for her.
Another bud has called his vacation short which meant that the part of the trip that would have brought him east to here is off. He has some "stuff" to deal with. Keeping my fingers crossed for him too.
With all this finger crossing it might be a bit hard to get some new work done for the shop in the Garrison District and the upcoming Women's Festival in Fredericton on the 22nd of August, but I am sure that I will figure something out.
The challenge with any disappointments is to keep it all in perspective, and to keep myself from getting to mired in the negative aspects of it. Getting out and doing is still a pretty good solution. None of us should stop trying to live even when things are looking down.
Concentrating on the teaching and on the students was good. I was able to forget about some of the disappointing things from this past week.
The show in Halifax was pleasant with lots of positive comments, but the overall results were not fabulous for me. The emails and postcards didn't seem too effective this time around though it did get some folks out that hadn't visited the summer show before.
A good friend that has been plagued with some health issues got another call from her Doc today with some not so good results... time will tell, but at least we made some fun about it, and this was after a bad fall yesterday after some other med tests. Keeping my fingers crossed for her.
Another bud has called his vacation short which meant that the part of the trip that would have brought him east to here is off. He has some "stuff" to deal with. Keeping my fingers crossed for him too.
With all this finger crossing it might be a bit hard to get some new work done for the shop in the Garrison District and the upcoming Women's Festival in Fredericton on the 22nd of August, but I am sure that I will figure something out.
The challenge with any disappointments is to keep it all in perspective, and to keep myself from getting to mired in the negative aspects of it. Getting out and doing is still a pretty good solution. None of us should stop trying to live even when things are looking down.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
A Bad Fear Day
It happens.
It was one of those days that I felt it badly. It sneaked up in me this morning and grabbed me by the throat and threw me around for a bit. "Stuff" going on is the simple way to explain why I got overwhelmed for a bit today. I found that part of the solution to this feeling and the immobilizing condition that it brings on was to write about it... longhand and just pour it all out onto the page. Once I exhausted the word "fear", I tackled the words "afraid" and "scared" and listed all the things that I attached to them today. I finished by asking myself "Is there anything I am not afraid of today?"
The quick realization that followed the writing is that there were many things I am not afraid of; that what was scaring me was OK and that I could handle it and that I would be alright.
I followed this with a list of accomplishments for the last week, which was a far longer list then the fears and by the end, made me feel pretty good about "stuff".
This is the first time in quite awhile that I have felt this much fear, and a lot of times when I have, I have stayed stuck in it for several hours, sometimes days. It is immobilizing and has prevented forward motion before. The interesting thing about addressing it quickly in writing is in how quickly it dissipated and how much more I actually got done today because of the writing.
There is something to be said for writing in a journal. It allows one to sort out the real problems that can be worked on from the ones that are beyond control. It puts it back in perspective... at least for me.
--
It was one of those days that I felt it badly. It sneaked up in me this morning and grabbed me by the throat and threw me around for a bit. "Stuff" going on is the simple way to explain why I got overwhelmed for a bit today. I found that part of the solution to this feeling and the immobilizing condition that it brings on was to write about it... longhand and just pour it all out onto the page. Once I exhausted the word "fear", I tackled the words "afraid" and "scared" and listed all the things that I attached to them today. I finished by asking myself "Is there anything I am not afraid of today?"
The quick realization that followed the writing is that there were many things I am not afraid of; that what was scaring me was OK and that I could handle it and that I would be alright.
I followed this with a list of accomplishments for the last week, which was a far longer list then the fears and by the end, made me feel pretty good about "stuff".
This is the first time in quite awhile that I have felt this much fear, and a lot of times when I have, I have stayed stuck in it for several hours, sometimes days. It is immobilizing and has prevented forward motion before. The interesting thing about addressing it quickly in writing is in how quickly it dissipated and how much more I actually got done today because of the writing.
There is something to be said for writing in a journal. It allows one to sort out the real problems that can be worked on from the ones that are beyond control. It puts it back in perspective... at least for me.
--
Monday, July 6, 2009
Revisiting Praise Junkie
I've been thinking about what I said here in June.
I'm wrong, the rare compliments are the true gems. The usual ones are great, but they do loose their luster faster by fading from memory sooner. The rare ones are the ones that truly get tucked inside the mind and held onto as real treasured memories.
Time has a way of passing, and in passing, teaching.
--
I'm wrong, the rare compliments are the true gems. The usual ones are great, but they do loose their luster faster by fading from memory sooner. The rare ones are the ones that truly get tucked inside the mind and held onto as real treasured memories.
Time has a way of passing, and in passing, teaching.
--
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Praise Junkie
There are people in our lives that we often receive compliments from or give compliments to... We feel good for both giving and receiving. Sometimes we find ourselves smiling a little brighter or trying a little harder because of the receipt of the compliment. We want another one, we need another one, our mind cries out for another one, we need the hit of the boost of the compliment.
The moment of realization dawns: I am a "Praise Junkie".
Now assume for a bit that you are not a junkie, but someone with confidence in your abilities and an unquestioning faith in yourself. Assume for a moment that you do not regularly seek out praise. Assume that you rarely receive complements and that for just this once, someone you have rarely received a compliment from gives you one. What value do you place on that praise? Is that one comment now worth more because it is rarely given than a similar one that is received daily?
I found myself pondering this recently. Both evaluating my need for a hit for the praise junkie and why one rare and off-hand comment about being "pretty" from a friend seems to have had more power than the daily reminder that I am "beautiful" from my partner.
On the rather cynical side though, praise is like marketing and diamonds: Rarity can lend value and perceived scarcity can up the demand.
I'll draw this conclusion for the moment, I have a daily showering of "diamonds" from my partner, so I guess when I get tossed another colour of gem, it's just unusual enough to be fascinating for awhile, but eventually the novelty wears off as the edges chip and the shine leaves the softer gem.
--
The moment of realization dawns: I am a "Praise Junkie".
Now assume for a bit that you are not a junkie, but someone with confidence in your abilities and an unquestioning faith in yourself. Assume for a moment that you do not regularly seek out praise. Assume that you rarely receive complements and that for just this once, someone you have rarely received a compliment from gives you one. What value do you place on that praise? Is that one comment now worth more because it is rarely given than a similar one that is received daily?
I found myself pondering this recently. Both evaluating my need for a hit for the praise junkie and why one rare and off-hand comment about being "pretty" from a friend seems to have had more power than the daily reminder that I am "beautiful" from my partner.
On the rather cynical side though, praise is like marketing and diamonds: Rarity can lend value and perceived scarcity can up the demand.
I'll draw this conclusion for the moment, I have a daily showering of "diamonds" from my partner, so I guess when I get tossed another colour of gem, it's just unusual enough to be fascinating for awhile, but eventually the novelty wears off as the edges chip and the shine leaves the softer gem.
--
Monday, June 8, 2009
My Cinderella Issue
In the original Grimm's Fairy Tale (GFT), I don't think that Cinderella was the helpless waif that the North American (NA) sanitized an beautified versions of the tale makes her out to be. I think that she a lot more spunk and she wasn't constantly sitting around bemoaning her terrible fate, whining at mice and waiting for the rodents and avian life to build her a dress for the ball. I also don't recall that Prince Charming was such a twit either, dancing around and believing that this was the "Princess" that would make his life complete. Grimm's seemed to imply that his life was already complete and well rounded and that the addition of Cinderella would simply enrich it. They weren't really saving each others butts in the original so much as providing opportunity for change and betterment.
My issue with the NA is that multiple generations of youth have grown up on that sucrose laden pablum, as compared to the more austere, violent and truthful GFT. I believe that this has left millions of children, young adults and some of us approaching middle age with a false sense of our own importance and the cultural implication that we need to be rescued. That someone will ride in and if the shoe fits, haul our sorry posteriors out of the ash pile and turn our lives from drudgery and damnation to a full time night club scene minus the pumpkin hour. In turn, the rider's life is going to become rich and whole because they made a rescue. Baloney, all you have are two needy people desperately seeking solace in the other and in turn constantly dragging each other further and further into their own personal morasses of misery.
What if the modern day Cinderella stopped whining and started doing? What if she found a bucket of water and washed her face and hands, combed her hair and mended her dress? What if she went into the village and looked for a job, any job, and just started to get out of the house and away from her negative environment. What if she stopped waiting to be rescued by the Prince and started her own rescue? Would teaching a little self-sufficiency to our youth be such a bad thing?
Let's face it, in the NA story, Prince is riding around with a glass slipper, that's a deadly weapon. What happens to the idea of doing some rescuing if he trips, falls and slits his throat on the broken shards? By the way, why does he need a whinging, whining broad for when he's the heir apparent and supposed to be busy doing a job of helping look after a kingdom. What's he really need with a woman to make his life complete? Enriched maybe, but not complete, because it should already be full and busy. He's a focused dude, not some love-struck puppy wandering around looking for a john so he can toss it off while he's waiting to try the 50's-look glass pump on his one and only.
Come on here people, what are we doing to ourselves when this is the drivel we are prepared to live off of? When this is what we are basing part of our societal structures on? Is it any wonder we are a confused bunch? Liberated, but waiting for him/her to rescue and fulfill us. Corporate climbing successes but still a failure without a full time marriage. Happiness is impossible without a partner. Love is the ultimate prize. Love is the only true success story. Why can't we be a success just because we are a whole person, doing something worthwhile as individuals? Why do we have to make the rescue/relationship the big story of our lives? What happens to our life when the rescue is over and the person is gone? We don't look too good, we don't feel too good, and we have belly-flopped, mega-cannonball splashed, big time failed. This is just a bad construct to have filling the minds of our youth. The media of cartoons and modern stories is not in tune with the rest of messages that we are trying to impart to those who wish to be successful adults.
Rewrite the story: You are a whole person with multiple interests and lots of people and things that you do that you enjoy in your life, all you don't have is full-time love relationship. Do you need one? Not really, it isn't what is going to make you happy because you already are happy. You are already fulfilled and self-reliant, but you give it a try because, well, if it works, your life might be a bit richer for it, if it fails, you still have your happiness and a full life. If the person that you try is already a happy, whole person, you are not rescuing, they are not needy, and they will add to, rather than take away from your life. Much better ending for everyone because now you are not busting your balls to back-fill the pits for another person who is sitting around uselessly gobbling up everything in sight as a way to ease their own psychic pain.
Neediness is a big hole and it takes a lot to fill it, that's why Cinderella needs the big castle and all the trappings to go with the Prince. She might be a nice girl, but she is one huge vacuum of narcissistic self-doubt and is totally devoid of self-confidence. If she hadn't been whining in the cinder pit, waiting for the fairy-godmother, she could have been fashioning together a drop-dead ensemble, bought on sale, paid for with her tips from Starbucks, and because she talks to so many people everyday at her job, she's already got the confidence to take on Princy and all the other fashionistas at the ball. She's not needy, she's one tough cookie with the chutzpah to take over the world. She doesn't need Princy, but if she decides she wants him, she'll try him on for size. If he doesn't fit into her life, she'll just head for the next ball.
As I said, I have a real Cinderella issue, and I personally detest the dichotomy that this type of media message has produced in me, on the one hand, supposed to be a capable self-sufficient woman but on the other, my life is not complete unless I am saved by Princy. I am so upset with the realization that I got gobbled up in the modern myth, like so many other women and men that I know, that I could burn the castle, slit Princy's throat with my own high heel and run mice through with a machete. If fairy-godmother ever shows, I think I will have to tell her to go do another kind of rescuing, start educating people that waiting to be rescued is wrong and useless and that changing your attitude to be bit more "can do" is the best possible remedy to the cinder pit of life.
My issue with the NA is that multiple generations of youth have grown up on that sucrose laden pablum, as compared to the more austere, violent and truthful GFT. I believe that this has left millions of children, young adults and some of us approaching middle age with a false sense of our own importance and the cultural implication that we need to be rescued. That someone will ride in and if the shoe fits, haul our sorry posteriors out of the ash pile and turn our lives from drudgery and damnation to a full time night club scene minus the pumpkin hour. In turn, the rider's life is going to become rich and whole because they made a rescue. Baloney, all you have are two needy people desperately seeking solace in the other and in turn constantly dragging each other further and further into their own personal morasses of misery.
What if the modern day Cinderella stopped whining and started doing? What if she found a bucket of water and washed her face and hands, combed her hair and mended her dress? What if she went into the village and looked for a job, any job, and just started to get out of the house and away from her negative environment. What if she stopped waiting to be rescued by the Prince and started her own rescue? Would teaching a little self-sufficiency to our youth be such a bad thing?
Let's face it, in the NA story, Prince is riding around with a glass slipper, that's a deadly weapon. What happens to the idea of doing some rescuing if he trips, falls and slits his throat on the broken shards? By the way, why does he need a whinging, whining broad for when he's the heir apparent and supposed to be busy doing a job of helping look after a kingdom. What's he really need with a woman to make his life complete? Enriched maybe, but not complete, because it should already be full and busy. He's a focused dude, not some love-struck puppy wandering around looking for a john so he can toss it off while he's waiting to try the 50's-look glass pump on his one and only.
Come on here people, what are we doing to ourselves when this is the drivel we are prepared to live off of? When this is what we are basing part of our societal structures on? Is it any wonder we are a confused bunch? Liberated, but waiting for him/her to rescue and fulfill us. Corporate climbing successes but still a failure without a full time marriage. Happiness is impossible without a partner. Love is the ultimate prize. Love is the only true success story. Why can't we be a success just because we are a whole person, doing something worthwhile as individuals? Why do we have to make the rescue/relationship the big story of our lives? What happens to our life when the rescue is over and the person is gone? We don't look too good, we don't feel too good, and we have belly-flopped, mega-cannonball splashed, big time failed. This is just a bad construct to have filling the minds of our youth. The media of cartoons and modern stories is not in tune with the rest of messages that we are trying to impart to those who wish to be successful adults.
Rewrite the story: You are a whole person with multiple interests and lots of people and things that you do that you enjoy in your life, all you don't have is full-time love relationship. Do you need one? Not really, it isn't what is going to make you happy because you already are happy. You are already fulfilled and self-reliant, but you give it a try because, well, if it works, your life might be a bit richer for it, if it fails, you still have your happiness and a full life. If the person that you try is already a happy, whole person, you are not rescuing, they are not needy, and they will add to, rather than take away from your life. Much better ending for everyone because now you are not busting your balls to back-fill the pits for another person who is sitting around uselessly gobbling up everything in sight as a way to ease their own psychic pain.
Neediness is a big hole and it takes a lot to fill it, that's why Cinderella needs the big castle and all the trappings to go with the Prince. She might be a nice girl, but she is one huge vacuum of narcissistic self-doubt and is totally devoid of self-confidence. If she hadn't been whining in the cinder pit, waiting for the fairy-godmother, she could have been fashioning together a drop-dead ensemble, bought on sale, paid for with her tips from Starbucks, and because she talks to so many people everyday at her job, she's already got the confidence to take on Princy and all the other fashionistas at the ball. She's not needy, she's one tough cookie with the chutzpah to take over the world. She doesn't need Princy, but if she decides she wants him, she'll try him on for size. If he doesn't fit into her life, she'll just head for the next ball.
As I said, I have a real Cinderella issue, and I personally detest the dichotomy that this type of media message has produced in me, on the one hand, supposed to be a capable self-sufficient woman but on the other, my life is not complete unless I am saved by Princy. I am so upset with the realization that I got gobbled up in the modern myth, like so many other women and men that I know, that I could burn the castle, slit Princy's throat with my own high heel and run mice through with a machete. If fairy-godmother ever shows, I think I will have to tell her to go do another kind of rescuing, start educating people that waiting to be rescued is wrong and useless and that changing your attitude to be bit more "can do" is the best possible remedy to the cinder pit of life.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
"To Do" Lists and Coffee
Two things occured to me this morning as I was waking up:
1. How much I enjoyed the simple pampering of a cup of coffee delivered to me in bed.
2. How important it is for me to acknowledge the intangible things that I get done everyday.
The coffee delivery, although an important symbol of attentive caring, is not the point.
I honestly can't say that I know any compulsive "to do" list makers. I certainly am not one, but I do from time to time list things that I know have deadlines attached, mark events and appointments on the calendar and I make shopping lists so I don't forget why I went to town. Here's the rub though, I bet that some of those "to do" people experience an incredible sense of accomplishment at the end of their day or week that the rest of us don't experience. Why, because unlike them, we can't look back at the day or week or month and know how many things we got finished that propel us towards our goals because so many things are intangible (paperwork recorded, filed, mailed, appointments kept, deadlines met... think of anything that gets things done, but does not actually make something). We can't see these things once they are done, they produce no material results, so unless they are check marks on a list, we are apt to forget what we accomplished.
If we ignore or forget all the intangibles that we have accomplished, we can easily feel that we have achieved nothing and that's not a feeling that is going to encourage us. If we keep track of the intangibles we can look back over a time and pat ourselves on the back and congratulate ourselves for "getting 'er done". A little self-congratulations can be just what we need to keep ourselves focused and motivated.
As you know, I like to make to jewelery and at the end of the day there is a real thing to show for my efforts, but I think that I am also learning to make lists, the check marks are real too. I enjoy being able to say "look what I got done" even on a day when I didn't actually make jewelry.
Try it, you might just like it.
--
1. How much I enjoyed the simple pampering of a cup of coffee delivered to me in bed.
2. How important it is for me to acknowledge the intangible things that I get done everyday.
The coffee delivery, although an important symbol of attentive caring, is not the point.
I honestly can't say that I know any compulsive "to do" list makers. I certainly am not one, but I do from time to time list things that I know have deadlines attached, mark events and appointments on the calendar and I make shopping lists so I don't forget why I went to town. Here's the rub though, I bet that some of those "to do" people experience an incredible sense of accomplishment at the end of their day or week that the rest of us don't experience. Why, because unlike them, we can't look back at the day or week or month and know how many things we got finished that propel us towards our goals because so many things are intangible (paperwork recorded, filed, mailed, appointments kept, deadlines met... think of anything that gets things done, but does not actually make something). We can't see these things once they are done, they produce no material results, so unless they are check marks on a list, we are apt to forget what we accomplished.
If we ignore or forget all the intangibles that we have accomplished, we can easily feel that we have achieved nothing and that's not a feeling that is going to encourage us. If we keep track of the intangibles we can look back over a time and pat ourselves on the back and congratulate ourselves for "getting 'er done". A little self-congratulations can be just what we need to keep ourselves focused and motivated.
As you know, I like to make to jewelery and at the end of the day there is a real thing to show for my efforts, but I think that I am also learning to make lists, the check marks are real too. I enjoy being able to say "look what I got done" even on a day when I didn't actually make jewelry.
Try it, you might just like it.
--
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Purpose
Ever wonder what your purpose for existing is?
Ever wonder why you are here?
The answer is surprisingly simple: Your passion is your purpose.
The not so simple part is figuring out what you are passionate about.
The hard part is actually committing yourself to pursuing your passion.
The really hard part is doing it.
The next hardest part is doing it regardless of how crazy it seems to you.
The hardest of all is committing yourself to your passion when your friends and family think it's crazy too.
The best life you can have is in doing it regardless and thus you justify your existence.
--
Ever wonder why you are here?
The answer is surprisingly simple: Your passion is your purpose.
The not so simple part is figuring out what you are passionate about.
The hard part is actually committing yourself to pursuing your passion.
The really hard part is doing it.
The next hardest part is doing it regardless of how crazy it seems to you.
The hardest of all is committing yourself to your passion when your friends and family think it's crazy too.
The best life you can have is in doing it regardless and thus you justify your existence.
--
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Countermanding Success
A touch of fatalism has set in since I got back to NB from my “vacation” that was two pampered weeks of doing little more than reading, writing and pushing a button to produce espresso.
While on vacation at my friend’s place, I was able to avoid the usual drudgery of domesticity. The only laundry to wash was my own, dishes were plunked in a dishwasher as compared to me plunking my hands in a dishpan twice a day, floors were ignored as the broom had been used the previous week to sweep mouse droppings from the garage and a replacement had not yet been acquired, likely hasn’t been yet. I did the nice thing and cleaned the bathrooms, as much for my own sanity and good sanitation as anything. Stripped the most gawdawful wallpaper border out of the master bath, face it, my friend writes about war, he’s not into pussycats, moonbeams, sunflowers and butterflies, unless they have something to do with Cold War and Nukes, of which I have yet to find evidence.
Even cooking was off my radar for the most part, he barbeques, he makes good bacon & eggs and uses a microwave like a pro. Life was easy, get up, get caffeinated, breakfast (either being cooked or I had breakfast kibbles as desired), either stay put and write or read on a warm sunny deck or toddle off to the local Starbuck’s for the morning round of writing. Lunch was either in or out, as was supper. Movie and/or conversation in the evenings, if we weren’t out with friends. Lost weight while I was there too, no snacking, it’s a surprisingly easy habit to break when there isn’t any being brought in the house. The only regret is not finishing off the bottle of
This schedule was surprisingly productive for me, I finished a couple of pen & ink drawings that had been sitting untouched for months, wrote both a lot of prose and poetry (a lot of it real bad though). Took photographs, none worth much of a mention, and did a lot of planning that may result in some good presentations if I finish them.
The fatalism in my case is the result of too many years of habit that has grown into the expectation that certain things will be so for the remainder of this household. It is a hard pattern to break and here I am noon time with the dishes from last evening’s grazing (after supper snacking) and this morning’s breakfasts done. Two loads of laundry washed and out on the line, as compared to the simple act of tossing them in a dryer, a clean bathroom (well almost). Bed made, neatly as compared to tossing the comforter on top and leaving it, clothes picked up again vs. being tossed into piles and sorted through only as necessary to find the T-shirt that is wanted or clean undies. It’s not my partner that expects this of me. It is me that expects this because I expect that the remainder of the household members expect this of me.
So again, here I am at noon with nothing more done for myself than email checks, news updates, espresso in hand at last, and I am now thinking about what to make for supper so that it is on the table for 5:30. I have approximately 4 hours to myself at this point to work on my art, and I wonder why I never seem to think that I can get full day in, in the studio.
The insanity of this is that I thought that things might change when I got back, I didn’t, though now I recognize that this is not a productive pattern for me, as an artist that wishes to make the most of my day. Just because the studio is across the driveway from the house doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be in it and it doesn’t mean that it is a less important job than that of the people that leave home to go to school or drive 10 minutes to their business or 20 minutes to their job.
I have to relearn that this is not how my day needs to be, and I have to change my own expectations in regards to domestic duties taking precedence over all of my arts. Their clean knickers do not sell at a show, a spotless bath is not a picture to frame, and it doesn’t make me a happier or more productive person, especially when productivity is a large part of how I define success.
So for any of you that have actually followed this post to this point, the question is this: what are you doing that countermands your definition of success and therefore is actually holding you back from achieving it?
--
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Starving Artist… redundant phrase?
The vision in my head last night was one of crossing the border and proceeding through customs with my passport, which simply lists my occupation as “Artist”. It is a straightforward word, which can be embellished upon with the words painter, photographer, sculptor, metalworker, lapidary…. The joke that occurred to me was that of being asked to explain what kind of artist, and instead of stating my art interests, I replied with “starving, what other kind is there?” Of course, my humour was well received in my little imagining; perhaps it would not go over so well in real life.
This personal humour combined with some articles that I have read and watched lately on “successful” artists, i.e. those that aren’t starving for money, lead me to the following musings:
1) We are all starving artists, regardless of the monetary success. We are all still hungry for something.
2) To insert the word “starving” in front of the word “artist” is redundancy at its finest.
I think that the issue for so many artists is that we have come to accept the definition of success as one of monetary means. If we make money, lots of money, the works sell, has representation in galleries, and orders keep pouring in, then success has been achieved. Add to this that the perception of the public is that the artist is no longer starving and voila, an artistic genius at work, but are we missing something when this is the only measurement we use?
The genius might be hard at work, filling the orders, creating the pieces that replicate the ones that the gallery sold. The genius is staying so busy in the studio that they have neither time to recharge, visit old friends, nor work on developing their own artistic voice and vision any further than where it was at the moment they were “discovered” and became “successful”. This is still a starving artist, one that hungers for quiet, vision, a moment of peace and a recovery of a sense of self.
The undiscovered artist makes do with whatever is at hand to work with, with whatever inspires and excites. Has time to develop new work based on old, and moves forward in style and technique based on their artistic vision. They never seem stuck, or rushed, but the money is always tight. They are starving for representation, hungry for a cash flow that would allow for better or more consistent supply of materials. They are starving for elusive financial success.
Both artists need to create, that is the nature of the artist, but both artists are still starving.
When the success of the artist is narrowly defined by money, the former is successful and unhappy, and the latter poor but inspired. Hardly seems to be a winning combination in any case.
Artist is not a narrow word, there are multitudes of types and styles of artist, so too then artistic success should be defined as broadly. If the artist would no more limit themselves to one type of paper or brush or pen or stone or figure, then why should success be limited to one definition?
As an artist, who dislikes redundancy in a statement, there needs to be a better way to define artistic success, like having enough money to get by comfortably, but enough time and control over the work to remain in forward motion, which also means a willingness to try new ideas, risk rejection and occasionally fire the “too demanding client”. I know one thing for sure, that defining my success as an artist beyond the standard measure of money, makes me a much happier person, and that’s a success too.
This personal humour combined with some articles that I have read and watched lately on “successful” artists, i.e. those that aren’t starving for money, lead me to the following musings:
1) We are all starving artists, regardless of the monetary success. We are all still hungry for something.
2) To insert the word “starving” in front of the word “artist” is redundancy at its finest.
I think that the issue for so many artists is that we have come to accept the definition of success as one of monetary means. If we make money, lots of money, the works sell, has representation in galleries, and orders keep pouring in, then success has been achieved. Add to this that the perception of the public is that the artist is no longer starving and voila, an artistic genius at work, but are we missing something when this is the only measurement we use?
The genius might be hard at work, filling the orders, creating the pieces that replicate the ones that the gallery sold. The genius is staying so busy in the studio that they have neither time to recharge, visit old friends, nor work on developing their own artistic voice and vision any further than where it was at the moment they were “discovered” and became “successful”. This is still a starving artist, one that hungers for quiet, vision, a moment of peace and a recovery of a sense of self.
The undiscovered artist makes do with whatever is at hand to work with, with whatever inspires and excites. Has time to develop new work based on old, and moves forward in style and technique based on their artistic vision. They never seem stuck, or rushed, but the money is always tight. They are starving for representation, hungry for a cash flow that would allow for better or more consistent supply of materials. They are starving for elusive financial success.
Both artists need to create, that is the nature of the artist, but both artists are still starving.
When the success of the artist is narrowly defined by money, the former is successful and unhappy, and the latter poor but inspired. Hardly seems to be a winning combination in any case.
Artist is not a narrow word, there are multitudes of types and styles of artist, so too then artistic success should be defined as broadly. If the artist would no more limit themselves to one type of paper or brush or pen or stone or figure, then why should success be limited to one definition?
As an artist, who dislikes redundancy in a statement, there needs to be a better way to define artistic success, like having enough money to get by comfortably, but enough time and control over the work to remain in forward motion, which also means a willingness to try new ideas, risk rejection and occasionally fire the “too demanding client”. I know one thing for sure, that defining my success as an artist beyond the standard measure of money, makes me a much happier person, and that’s a success too.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Analogy
You have been driving a car down a one-way dead end laneway that narrows so that there is no turning around, and then you discover that the car does not have reverse. That stuck feeling sets in. That realization that you have spent so much time driving down the road, not taking turns, making decisions that could have taken you down other lanes. You have stayed the chosen course only to discover that you have dead-ended yourself and there does not seem to be a way out of it.
Unfortunately, this is how we sometimes live our lives. This is what seems to happen to us and we reach that dead-end in a job, a relationship, indebtedness, and a combination of the normal and mundane. We suddenly realize we are trapped and feel that we have no recourse, no way out, no answers, and no rescue.
What are you going to do when you find yourself there?
Some people seem to give up and stay with the car, stuck and complaining and accepting that there is no way out. Some people get out and push the car backwards until they can turn at the last turning point. Some people listen and realize that there are lanes that run parallel to the one they are on, and scramble through the pucker brush to the other road and hitch a ride.
The worst thing that we can do is give up. Pushing backwards to the last turning point or making the effort to push through the brambles and shambles to another road is the most progressive. Either of the two latter choices will net a change in the circumstances. Neither is easy, but neither is change.
What would you do, face down the challenge and the fear of the unknown roadway or sit at the dead-end?
Unfortunately, this is how we sometimes live our lives. This is what seems to happen to us and we reach that dead-end in a job, a relationship, indebtedness, and a combination of the normal and mundane. We suddenly realize we are trapped and feel that we have no recourse, no way out, no answers, and no rescue.
What are you going to do when you find yourself there?
Some people seem to give up and stay with the car, stuck and complaining and accepting that there is no way out. Some people get out and push the car backwards until they can turn at the last turning point. Some people listen and realize that there are lanes that run parallel to the one they are on, and scramble through the pucker brush to the other road and hitch a ride.
The worst thing that we can do is give up. Pushing backwards to the last turning point or making the effort to push through the brambles and shambles to another road is the most progressive. Either of the two latter choices will net a change in the circumstances. Neither is easy, but neither is change.
What would you do, face down the challenge and the fear of the unknown roadway or sit at the dead-end?
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Resistance
Recently a friend asked me why I don’t write, as in write more, or write professionally, rather than just the occasional piece of prose, poetry or blog post. He told me that it was as important to my soul as my work as an artisan.
I didn’t disagree with him, but in a way, I blew it off by responding that I do write, for myself and my own pleasure. Then I got to wondering why I never did pursue the writing career that I once thought that I wanted. What stopped me?
It is the very same thing that has stopped me from pursuing other interests and… my own resistance to the effort.
Coincidently this same friend mentioned a book to me last December by Steven Pressfield: The War of Art. In this book, Pressfield addresses the concept of Resistance as the enemy to our creative processes. It is the enemy and it is often confused with external factors and influences, like family and other work.
The resistance is the same thing that is causing me to procrastinate in even writing these few words. It is the unspoken fear of the blank page, the “what if I can’t fill it?”
The realization is that writing is like the jewelry work that I do and it is based on discipline and interest. It is the willingness to go and sit at the bench for a designated period of time everyday, regardless of the results. Some days the work is phenomenal, it flows and pieces just seem to happen effortlessly. Other days I can walk in, sit, and stare at the tools and the silver, I will pick up stones and beads and touch them carefully, searching for a spark of inspiration. Sometimes there is not any and those are the days that I start by making simple earrings. At least by making the effort to do something, I am succeeding in overcoming resistance. I am working and I am working as a professional and I am seriously playing.
The question now becomes, what else do I want to seriously play at?
I didn’t disagree with him, but in a way, I blew it off by responding that I do write, for myself and my own pleasure. Then I got to wondering why I never did pursue the writing career that I once thought that I wanted. What stopped me?
It is the very same thing that has stopped me from pursuing other interests and… my own resistance to the effort.
Coincidently this same friend mentioned a book to me last December by Steven Pressfield: The War of Art. In this book, Pressfield addresses the concept of Resistance as the enemy to our creative processes. It is the enemy and it is often confused with external factors and influences, like family and other work.
The resistance is the same thing that is causing me to procrastinate in even writing these few words. It is the unspoken fear of the blank page, the “what if I can’t fill it?”
The realization is that writing is like the jewelry work that I do and it is based on discipline and interest. It is the willingness to go and sit at the bench for a designated period of time everyday, regardless of the results. Some days the work is phenomenal, it flows and pieces just seem to happen effortlessly. Other days I can walk in, sit, and stare at the tools and the silver, I will pick up stones and beads and touch them carefully, searching for a spark of inspiration. Sometimes there is not any and those are the days that I start by making simple earrings. At least by making the effort to do something, I am succeeding in overcoming resistance. I am working and I am working as a professional and I am seriously playing.
The question now becomes, what else do I want to seriously play at?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Regret
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” - Fulton Oursler
Fear gets us no thing and no one. Fear creates the regrets through inaction or reduced effort.
I've been thinking a lot about fear and regret lately, evaluating it in my own life and examining the limitations that it has placed on me and my life and work. It is absolutely without doubt, that every regret that I have for the past is related to a fear. I said "yes" when I would have rather said "no" or "no" for "yes", or didn't even commit in some cases.
Late last year, I decided that I wasn't going to live with regret anymore, that if I could prevent one, I would. It takes a bit of courage to try this because every decision requires facing our fear of "what if..." It's downright uncomfortable at times.
Something else to note, is that by taking the time to examine our field of regrets, we often find a lot of buried dreams. Some of them need to dug out, dusted off, and used as motivators, others need to be discarded as nothing other than passing fancy. Also, in this field, are a lot of fear based reasons for why we are perhaps not as happy or fulfilled as we would like, and like myself, you my discover why it has been so difficult to apply the words art and artist to your own work and being.
Good luck with the exhumations.
--
Monday, October 27, 2008
Bad music, bad scene
We just returned from a show in the Halifax region, Nova Scotia. Overall it was an interesting event but not highly successful for us.
Not only did we have the purported economic woes ravaging the attendees, but we had to endure psych warfare, a la Barney the Purple Dinosaur plays Iraq. We all know that music affects mood and we know that we will play certain types of music for certain occasions in order to match our own desired mood. The Barney reference stems from Ronson's Men Who Stare at Goats, for those that are curious.
The context for this particular Craft Show is that for the third year in a row, sales have declined, and attendance is nearing dismal proportions, and for the third year, a certain pair of "wailin' ginnys" has performed live at the show along with having their CD's on near constant rotation. I am not saying that music is the only thing that can make a show but I am now convinced that music has the ability to break one.
In this case, the ladies are not completely melodic nor are they particularly perky sounding. The lyrics to their Christmas music goes something like this: I'm happy you are coming home for Christmas (sniff sniff, moan groan) It's going to be a wonderful time (except now I have to cook a turkey dinner) I have wanted you home for so long now (but preferably at home in the graveyard) You have been missed at every dinner before (and I could really stand to miss you again) Welcome home for Christmas (but maybe I'll get lucky and get you with the car) this year..... All of these happy merry Christmas tunes sung to approximately the same melody in 4/4 time that took twice as long to play as it should.
My real issue with non-perky music at a show is that not only is it wearing on us as vendors, tiring us prematurely, but is also wearing on the attendees who have a substantial mood change with sad music. Hands go back in pockets, heads go down, frowns appear and the shopping stops cold. They soon wander back to their cars with morose spirits only to drive home with certainty that this was a bad show to attend, there was nothing worth looking at let alone buy, and the vendors were all cranky and tired, and there's just no point in going again.
So the thought for anyone planning a craft or arts show is that you should try really hard to have a nice upbeat mix of music, no operatic renditions of carols, no religious stuff, and no sad, sad tunes EVER!
Not only did we have the purported economic woes ravaging the attendees, but we had to endure psych warfare, a la Barney the Purple Dinosaur plays Iraq. We all know that music affects mood and we know that we will play certain types of music for certain occasions in order to match our own desired mood. The Barney reference stems from Ronson's Men Who Stare at Goats, for those that are curious.
The context for this particular Craft Show is that for the third year in a row, sales have declined, and attendance is nearing dismal proportions, and for the third year, a certain pair of "wailin' ginnys" has performed live at the show along with having their CD's on near constant rotation. I am not saying that music is the only thing that can make a show but I am now convinced that music has the ability to break one.
In this case, the ladies are not completely melodic nor are they particularly perky sounding. The lyrics to their Christmas music goes something like this: I'm happy you are coming home for Christmas (sniff sniff, moan groan) It's going to be a wonderful time (except now I have to cook a turkey dinner) I have wanted you home for so long now (but preferably at home in the graveyard) You have been missed at every dinner before (and I could really stand to miss you again) Welcome home for Christmas (but maybe I'll get lucky and get you with the car) this year..... All of these happy merry Christmas tunes sung to approximately the same melody in 4/4 time that took twice as long to play as it should.
My real issue with non-perky music at a show is that not only is it wearing on us as vendors, tiring us prematurely, but is also wearing on the attendees who have a substantial mood change with sad music. Hands go back in pockets, heads go down, frowns appear and the shopping stops cold. They soon wander back to their cars with morose spirits only to drive home with certainty that this was a bad show to attend, there was nothing worth looking at let alone buy, and the vendors were all cranky and tired, and there's just no point in going again.
So the thought for anyone planning a craft or arts show is that you should try really hard to have a nice upbeat mix of music, no operatic renditions of carols, no religious stuff, and no sad, sad tunes EVER!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
The Flickr Meme - borrowed from Sharon
How it’s played:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.
1. What is your first name? Cynthia
2. What is your favorite food? pizza
3. What high school did you go to? Harvey Regional High School
4. What is your favorite color? black
5. Favorite pastime? reading
6. Favorite drink? chai
7. Dream vacation? Europe for a few months
8. Favorite dessert? cherry cheese cake
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? a better me than I am now
10. What do you love most in life? my friends
11. One word to describe you. nice, at least I hope so
12. What town do you live in? Acton
13. What is your occupation? art
14. What did you have for breakfast? coffee & veggies
15. Favorite element? Water
16. Favorite season? Spring
17. Favorite seasonal activity? planting the garden
18. Fave music when you don't know what else to listen to? The Tragically Hip
19. Celeb you would like to meet? Woody Allen
20. What is on your computer desk top? measuring tape
21. Favorite shoes? my heels
22. Favorite alcoholic drink? ammaretto
23. Favorite candy? cherry chocolates
24. Favorite flower? painted daisies
25. What did you do today? tidied up in the studio & read a bit
The resulting mosaic:
Credit, where credit is due:
1. Cynthia takes artistic license with Pike's Peak, 2. Pizza night!, 3. United States Coast Guard, 4. One Night in Bangkok, 5. llibreria - bookstore - Amsterdam - HDR, 6. kitchen #2, 7. France - Provence - Lost in Lavender, 8. Yummy For My Tummy, 9. hair, 10. Hold me close, under the sunset, 11. hello. nice to meet you., 12. Moonrise, 13. Cd Art, 14. an iranian old painting, 15. October Morning on Lake Michigan, 16. Red.Source, 17. French Garden at Duke Farms, 18. I Hate You, San Francisco, 19. Woody Allen in concert, 20. tape measure, 21. Red Heels, 22. Some nights you just have to, 23. Chocolate-Cinnamon Mousse with Cherries, 24. 'Painting' of African Daisy from Lowe's, 25. my miniature studio
The interesting thing about an excercize like this is that it is a creative one, it's fun, and if you answer quickly, right off the top of your head, you might surprise yourself with some honest answers.
The next part of the exercise is realize, perhaps, how few of the small luxeries, like your favorite dessert, you haven't treated yourself to in a long time. Make a date with yourself for a treat at least once a week. It's amazing how good a little luxery feels.
Sharon's Blog may be found here.
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.
1. What is your first name? Cynthia
2. What is your favorite food? pizza
3. What high school did you go to? Harvey Regional High School
4. What is your favorite color? black
5. Favorite pastime? reading
6. Favorite drink? chai
7. Dream vacation? Europe for a few months
8. Favorite dessert? cherry cheese cake
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? a better me than I am now
10. What do you love most in life? my friends
11. One word to describe you. nice, at least I hope so
12. What town do you live in? Acton
13. What is your occupation? art
14. What did you have for breakfast? coffee & veggies
15. Favorite element? Water
16. Favorite season? Spring
17. Favorite seasonal activity? planting the garden
18. Fave music when you don't know what else to listen to? The Tragically Hip
19. Celeb you would like to meet? Woody Allen
20. What is on your computer desk top? measuring tape
21. Favorite shoes? my heels
22. Favorite alcoholic drink? ammaretto
23. Favorite candy? cherry chocolates
24. Favorite flower? painted daisies
25. What did you do today? tidied up in the studio & read a bit
The resulting mosaic:
Credit, where credit is due:
1. Cynthia takes artistic license with Pike's Peak, 2. Pizza night!, 3. United States Coast Guard, 4. One Night in Bangkok, 5. llibreria - bookstore - Amsterdam - HDR, 6. kitchen #2, 7. France - Provence - Lost in Lavender, 8. Yummy For My Tummy, 9. hair, 10. Hold me close, under the sunset, 11. hello. nice to meet you., 12. Moonrise, 13. Cd Art, 14. an iranian old painting, 15. October Morning on Lake Michigan, 16. Red.Source, 17. French Garden at Duke Farms, 18. I Hate You, San Francisco, 19. Woody Allen in concert, 20. tape measure, 21. Red Heels, 22. Some nights you just have to, 23. Chocolate-Cinnamon Mousse with Cherries, 24. 'Painting' of African Daisy from Lowe's, 25. my miniature studio
The interesting thing about an excercize like this is that it is a creative one, it's fun, and if you answer quickly, right off the top of your head, you might surprise yourself with some honest answers.
The next part of the exercise is realize, perhaps, how few of the small luxeries, like your favorite dessert, you haven't treated yourself to in a long time. Make a date with yourself for a treat at least once a week. It's amazing how good a little luxery feels.
Sharon's Blog may be found here.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
A pick me up
I just received a phone call from Lydia, a new acquaintance and wonderful lady. She wanted to let me know that she saw our jewelry work at Viktor's Blue Rose Salon in Woodstock when she was there getting her hair done recently.
She adores the guys too and offered them suggestions on display for our work which is always appreciated. I have a feeling that not only is she one heck of a smart 'money' girl but she has a keen eye for the 'how to' as well.
I've been meaning to blog for a couple of days now but have been feeling under the weather which is bad around here this week, it's been overcast and showering for days.... and predicted to continue well into next week.
She was just what I needed, bright, cheery and full of positive news. Thanks Lydia.
She adores the guys too and offered them suggestions on display for our work which is always appreciated. I have a feeling that not only is she one heck of a smart 'money' girl but she has a keen eye for the 'how to' as well.
I've been meaning to blog for a couple of days now but have been feeling under the weather which is bad around here this week, it's been overcast and showering for days.... and predicted to continue well into next week.
She was just what I needed, bright, cheery and full of positive news. Thanks Lydia.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Coincidence - I think not
A couple of weeks ago when I met with Gerald, of Viktor and Gerald, he said to me "Nothing happens by coincidence." I had been musing about that for the last little while.
At a recent area book sale I grabbed "The Celestine Prophecy". I know that this book has been around for awhile, and I also know that it was recommended to me years ago by Aunt Pat.
Finally cracked the cover on it yesterday, finished it about 01:30 this morning. Not entirely sure what to make of it other than to say that people have often been placed in our path when we have needed certain types of information and they have been more than willing to share. I identified with it.
Stick with me here, this is going somewhere...
The basic premise is the old adage "ask and you shall receive" which leads to the old corollary "be careful what you ask for, you might just get it".
We all know someone who knows someone and if we follow the trail long enough or ask the right person, we are all no more than 6 people away from knowing someone else. This kind of '6-Degrees of Separation' reality takes some of the coincidence out of our lives too.
I'm not proposing that our destinies are preordained for whatever life of misery, poverty, disgust, etc. that we might be experiencing. It is just possible however that if we only took the time to talk to the people that we meet, that cross our path, that they might have an answer to a problem that would help lift us out whatever misery we are currently experiencing.
The point of this rambling, if you haven't already drawn your own conclusion, is that we should try to be open to the possibility that we will meet someone who can help us and in turn, the people that we meet may need our help and that every human transaction holds the gift of learning. The catch is that we have to ask.
The other thought is that if you have stumbled upon this blog, it was for a reason, and there is something here that you can use. Hope that you find it.
At a recent area book sale I grabbed "The Celestine Prophecy". I know that this book has been around for awhile, and I also know that it was recommended to me years ago by Aunt Pat.
Finally cracked the cover on it yesterday, finished it about 01:30 this morning. Not entirely sure what to make of it other than to say that people have often been placed in our path when we have needed certain types of information and they have been more than willing to share. I identified with it.
Stick with me here, this is going somewhere...
The basic premise is the old adage "ask and you shall receive" which leads to the old corollary "be careful what you ask for, you might just get it".
We all know someone who knows someone and if we follow the trail long enough or ask the right person, we are all no more than 6 people away from knowing someone else. This kind of '6-Degrees of Separation' reality takes some of the coincidence out of our lives too.
I'm not proposing that our destinies are preordained for whatever life of misery, poverty, disgust, etc. that we might be experiencing. It is just possible however that if we only took the time to talk to the people that we meet, that cross our path, that they might have an answer to a problem that would help lift us out whatever misery we are currently experiencing.
The point of this rambling, if you haven't already drawn your own conclusion, is that we should try to be open to the possibility that we will meet someone who can help us and in turn, the people that we meet may need our help and that every human transaction holds the gift of learning. The catch is that we have to ask.
The other thought is that if you have stumbled upon this blog, it was for a reason, and there is something here that you can use. Hope that you find it.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Brave Moment...
...And it was fun too.
For the first time in years I put a brush to canvas. It was not easy.
I have had the paint, brushes and canvases for well over a year and I have periodically ranted about wanting to try painting again. It was good to play in the paint - acrylic - cheap but very functional when you know that this isn't your main gig.
I learned something that helped today too.
The reason that I shied away from visual art, since I could draw OK and could use oils OK was that in my mind, my mother was better, but she didn't paint much and often voiced disatisfaction with some branch or other of the family tree in regards to art. I got turned off and also I didn't want to appear to be competing with her - and maybe that's an only child/daughter hang-up. My mother liked to work on landscapes and painted in a realistic but not photographic fashion. I am very uncomfortable with realism, besides I have a lot of doubt in my ability and I am hung-up on all of this.
But what I learned is that if I pick really contrary colours to work in: green and blue for flesh for example, that the whole activity becomes a lot more fun; after all it is hard to take a green/blue nude seriously.
The three small canvases, I think they are the standard 5x7, will be signed and dated, probably tacked up on the studio wall and will be replaced with several more blanks.
I know that the 'paintings' are NOT gallery quality, at least in my humble and self-detrimental opinion, but I'm still pretty proud of them because it's real progress. It took a lot of time and a good bit of bravery to try something that I gave up on 20 years ago.
Now I wonder what else I can rediscover and try again?
For the first time in years I put a brush to canvas. It was not easy.
I have had the paint, brushes and canvases for well over a year and I have periodically ranted about wanting to try painting again. It was good to play in the paint - acrylic - cheap but very functional when you know that this isn't your main gig.
I learned something that helped today too.
The reason that I shied away from visual art, since I could draw OK and could use oils OK was that in my mind, my mother was better, but she didn't paint much and often voiced disatisfaction with some branch or other of the family tree in regards to art. I got turned off and also I didn't want to appear to be competing with her - and maybe that's an only child/daughter hang-up. My mother liked to work on landscapes and painted in a realistic but not photographic fashion. I am very uncomfortable with realism, besides I have a lot of doubt in my ability and I am hung-up on all of this.
But what I learned is that if I pick really contrary colours to work in: green and blue for flesh for example, that the whole activity becomes a lot more fun; after all it is hard to take a green/blue nude seriously.
The three small canvases, I think they are the standard 5x7, will be signed and dated, probably tacked up on the studio wall and will be replaced with several more blanks.
I know that the 'paintings' are NOT gallery quality, at least in my humble and self-detrimental opinion, but I'm still pretty proud of them because it's real progress. It took a lot of time and a good bit of bravery to try something that I gave up on 20 years ago.
Now I wonder what else I can rediscover and try again?
Monday, April 7, 2008
Help
Help is an interesting word. We can either get help, have help or be a help. Each use indicates a level of need or giving by those involved in the help process.
Lately, I've gotten help, been a help and had help. I also recently quite my job as CEO of my universe. Mind you that is a hard job post to forget and it's habits rise fairly frequently in day to day activities. I need and have a lot of help in dealing with this welcome vacancy in my life.
I still firmly believe that we are all 100% responsible for our lot in life. We either choose to accept or ignore the opportunities that are tossed in our path. It's like deciding whether or not to pick up a dropped penny. The only problem with being CEO of my universe is that I took responsibility for every dropped or ignored penny rather than just accepting that sometimes somebody else drops them and that I have no control over when and where they fall. It's too big a job with to much false responsibility that gets in the way of looking after what I really can do.
Recently a buddy, who is a musician/artist, and I decided that maybe it would be a good idea if a group of us like-minded individuals got together for bi-monthly gab sessions to compare notes on what works and what doesn't in our art/business worlds. Snagging the name from a magazine I read, we call it the Brain Squad, rather than a Mastermind group. It's a matter of rebelling against semantics and some of the 'new agey' verbiage that goes with the term Mastermind, that we grabbed at brain squad, after all two heads are better than one, so what about 5 or 6.
The catch with this little group is that we have to be committed to showing up at the meetings, hold everything discussed in confidence, share information and sources, and be encouraging as well as honest. So far it has a really good feel to it and it's great to be in room with others who are trying to be proactive about their art/business too and who are not looking for the problem in every idea but ideas in every problem.
My personal opinion is that for most of us that work at art, however one wants to define work and art, is that there is always someone or two or more, who is important to us, but who just never seems to "to get it". They appear to be supportive, try to be encouraging, but if you tell them your good news, theirs is better. If you have a problem, theirs is worse. If you have a headache, they have a brain tumour.... In their attempt to be supportive they are often undermining your confidence and creating some amount of doubt in your abilities and it's not like we don't suffer with confidence and ability issues as it is.
Our hope is that the brain squad can help each of us overcome some of the doubts/fears that creep into our art-lives, and that by keeping the meetings to a bi-monthly schedule that we all stay a bit more focused, and that because of improved focus that we will more readily spot the dropped pennies and actually be in a position to pick them up and use them, and if we can't use them, we can at least pass them on and help somebody else.
Cheers!
Lately, I've gotten help, been a help and had help. I also recently quite my job as CEO of my universe. Mind you that is a hard job post to forget and it's habits rise fairly frequently in day to day activities. I need and have a lot of help in dealing with this welcome vacancy in my life.
I still firmly believe that we are all 100% responsible for our lot in life. We either choose to accept or ignore the opportunities that are tossed in our path. It's like deciding whether or not to pick up a dropped penny. The only problem with being CEO of my universe is that I took responsibility for every dropped or ignored penny rather than just accepting that sometimes somebody else drops them and that I have no control over when and where they fall. It's too big a job with to much false responsibility that gets in the way of looking after what I really can do.
Recently a buddy, who is a musician/artist, and I decided that maybe it would be a good idea if a group of us like-minded individuals got together for bi-monthly gab sessions to compare notes on what works and what doesn't in our art/business worlds. Snagging the name from a magazine I read, we call it the Brain Squad, rather than a Mastermind group. It's a matter of rebelling against semantics and some of the 'new agey' verbiage that goes with the term Mastermind, that we grabbed at brain squad, after all two heads are better than one, so what about 5 or 6.
The catch with this little group is that we have to be committed to showing up at the meetings, hold everything discussed in confidence, share information and sources, and be encouraging as well as honest. So far it has a really good feel to it and it's great to be in room with others who are trying to be proactive about their art/business too and who are not looking for the problem in every idea but ideas in every problem.
My personal opinion is that for most of us that work at art, however one wants to define work and art, is that there is always someone or two or more, who is important to us, but who just never seems to "to get it". They appear to be supportive, try to be encouraging, but if you tell them your good news, theirs is better. If you have a problem, theirs is worse. If you have a headache, they have a brain tumour.... In their attempt to be supportive they are often undermining your confidence and creating some amount of doubt in your abilities and it's not like we don't suffer with confidence and ability issues as it is.
Our hope is that the brain squad can help each of us overcome some of the doubts/fears that creep into our art-lives, and that by keeping the meetings to a bi-monthly schedule that we all stay a bit more focused, and that because of improved focus that we will more readily spot the dropped pennies and actually be in a position to pick them up and use them, and if we can't use them, we can at least pass them on and help somebody else.
Cheers!
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