Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Praise Junkie

There are people in our lives that we often receive compliments from or give compliments to... We feel good for both giving and receiving. Sometimes we find ourselves smiling a little brighter or trying a little harder because of the receipt of the compliment. We want another one, we need another one, our mind cries out for another one, we need the hit of the boost of the compliment.

The moment of realization dawns: I am a "Praise Junkie".

Now assume for a bit that you are not a junkie, but someone with confidence in your abilities and an unquestioning faith in yourself. Assume for a moment that you do not regularly seek out praise. Assume that you rarely receive complements and that for just this once, someone you have rarely received a compliment from gives you one. What value do you place on that praise? Is that one comment now worth more because it is rarely given than a similar one that is received daily?

I found myself pondering this recently. Both evaluating my need for a hit for the praise junkie and why one rare and off-hand comment about being "pretty" from a friend seems to have had more power than the daily reminder that I am "beautiful" from my partner.

On the rather cynical side though, praise is like marketing and diamonds: Rarity can lend value and perceived scarcity can up the demand.

I'll draw this conclusion for the moment, I have a daily showering of "diamonds" from my partner, so I guess when I get tossed another colour of gem, it's just unusual enough to be fascinating for awhile, but eventually the novelty wears off as the edges chip and the shine leaves the softer gem.
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