I'm a Whiner

I'm back to whine some more about my pathetic life.

Just reading that sentence makes my adult self laugh. My reality hits me square between the eyes that it is of my own making and the good and the bad have been invited into by me.

Also, the concept of our inner egos is again confirmed. That we each have a responsible adult ego, a nurturing inner parent ego and the inner child ego, and the child is whining bad today.

And yes, we are responsible for our situations - 100%!

What brings on this slight bemusement is the fact that months ago we knew that The Tragically Hip, one of my favorite bands, will be playing a concert just minutes away from home tonight. And months ago the tickets went on sale and months ago we put off buying tickets and months ago we made some decisions about the business that would substantially change the cash flow situation for the summer. And through the past few months we have maintained a positive outlook that things will get better, they have, but here we are now with no tickets, no way to really justify buying two of the few remaining tickets at the box office either. And remember that I said "better" and not "great".

I mean I could justify it in a 'we deserve this' type of move, but I can't come up with a real reason why we really deserve it.

The problem with responsibility and logic is that they can override the emotional appeal for FUN and it's my fun-loving child self that is whining at my responsible adult self. The usual litany of "it's not fair" and "it's all ..... fault", even though I can not come up with anyone to blame for this, has started in my head and I don't like it. My nurturing adult self now has the job of soothing the inner whiner.

As an aspiring artist (doesn't that sound important) my inner child gets to play a lot. It is who draws the designs and puts colours together and is always trying new things at the bench. My adult self gets shelved for a few productive hours until it is time to do paperwork and dole out rewards for good behavior. It's just that those rewards had better be cheap and $48.00/seat tickets aren't it this month, not with business cards and graphics for the booth on order and hotel fees for the show coming up on the 21st.

Now try explaining that to a disappointed child who has been hoping since April that just maybe, this time, they can go see their favorite band.

Now imagine trying to take this same child and trying to get it to co-operate and go colour in it's colouring book.

Now you know who an artist is when they are not happy with what is going on around them.

And since the child is already whining, I might just as well deal with it and let it whine and go do some responsible mundane adult stuff until it calms down.

In the hopes that you are better at soothing your inner child than I am, have a great day,
Cynthia

The creative adult is the child who has survived. - Ursula K. LeGuin

P.S. Husbands are a funny thing. They call and ask your advice and then still go and do the total opposite. He bought the tickets today.