The last few days have been different. I have felt a certain lack of ambition and am decidedly lackluster in my efforts.
It is not a comfortable place to be even though I have been getting a few pieces made at the bench.
Some people would tell me that I have a case of the blues or that I am wallowing in self-pity. The problem with this particular state is that I really am feeling nothing except frustration with feeling so little.
I am looking for a reason for this melancholy. I want it to be a real reason not just something that I can construe as an excuse.
Having done a fair bit of reading about artists, past & present, and their temperaments, I have learned that many of them suffer from melancholy moods, if not other more serious psychiatric illnesses. They also never seemed to need a reason for their mood or state of mind, it was a part of being.
Ironically, the thought that crosses my mind with that, is perhaps I just don't always like the state of being. Wry humour at work. And also with that thought comes the realization that I haven't had a lot to laugh about lately and that more than anything, I need some social time. I need to get out my studio and out my own head.
Being in the studio is one thing but being in a decent frame of mind to get some work done in an enjoyable fashion is another. A few days away to visit an aunt, do a one day show and spend some time away can hardly come soon enough now.
Just the thought of a change lightens my mood a bit.
Cheers till later,
Cynthia
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